I'm Not Built for This

So I finally have reached my destination of the beautiful Edinburgh. It was not at all smooth sailing that started when I realized I was fucked by how heavy my bags were. I decided to check one 50 pound bag and carry a duffel stuffed with the rest of my things in addition to a backpack that was way heavier than its contents would suggest. So with my backpack on and this 30 pound monstrosity over one shoulder and the other arm dragging about my luggage bag, it was just peachy. Basically the security checkpoint was hell since I was standing in line for a good chunk on time, switching shoulders and forearms to even out the pain of the straps cutting into my flesh. All of this exertion so sudden after my summer of lethargy made me sweat, literally and metaphorically. I was clammy and absolutely disgusting and that was not the end of my problems.

I thought I had run into some luck when it turned out that another girl from my study abroad program was on my flight to Edinburgh. We were able to share a cab and she left on the first stop. The normally scintillating human that I am only then realized that I was totally screwed since I only had a general idea and title of the place to which I was headed and not an exact address. Flustered when the cabbie stopped in the general vicinity of the place I was headed, I told him to go ahead and leave, even though I had no clue where the hell I was. The whole street shared the title that I thought was the name of a specific location. So I spent another good chunk of time walking up and down the street with all of my crap, while construction workers just gave me bemused looks. The normal response to a situation like this would be to call or text someone or just look up the address, but did I mention that my phone had zero service? My Hail-Mary was to connect to spare Wi-Fi, paying 8 pounds in the process, to no avail. Some guy then walks up to me, a person in obvious distress, and asks if I'm a student looking to check into housing for the university. I WAS ON THE WRONG FUCKING SIDE OF THE STREET. So thoroughly embarrassed I followed him and finally got to my room.

But no, that's not all. I wanted to pick up a few living necessities from the nearby convenience store. All was fine. I went to check out and luckily there was a woman I could follow by example. The plastic bags are not dispersed to all self-checkout stations and are rather in one place. Thanks to the lady, I did not have to panic for too long before finding them. So I get all situated and scan my items. Except that every minute it stops and tells me to go get someone to help me. I'm the only person who gets stalled over and over again and I swear the clerk can tell that I'm a daft American. After scanning my card the screen freezes on the same notification to get the clerk and there's some dispute about whether or not the card went through or not. Eventually the guy just gives up and tell me to get out of his sight (not really) and I book it out of there.

After having been through all of that I'm pretty sure I stink, since stress and bodily functions are conducive to such things. So I get back to my room and I decide to take a shower since I already feel gross from a day of traveling. My room has its own complete bathroom and everything is new and fancy. The lights are turned on by a motion sensor and the shower has two knobs for water pressure and temperature. Pretty straightforward. So I turn on one knob for the pressure and when I turn the temperature knob the water stops. So I try again. And again. And the water just is fucking frigid or not there at all. There are these weird buttons on the knobs that dictate how far the knobs can turn so I fiddle with those for a while and twenty minutes of this tom-foolery, I'm pretty sure I'm a moron. I mean the red arrows are obviously a universal symbol of "turn this way for hot water", right? Eventually I give up and end up taking a frigid shower. Thirty seconds in and cursing the damn shower, the lights turn off. So I reach out of the shower and wave my hands around until they come back on. Thirty second later, they turn off again. And once more. At this point, I'm done with this shit so I just suck it up and take a frigid shower in the dark. Fantastic.

If this isn't a sign that I'm screwed for the rest of this trip, I don't know what is.