Reevaluating

So I had the biggest fallout of my life with the single most important person in my life... my mother. I subconsciously already know that she's only trying to do what's best for me and well... sometimes I feel like I want to make my own decisions. But after the whole fiasco, I realized a lot of things.

1) I have the most amazing and supportive friends in the world. After I was "kicked out", I was shocked really to see how much people cared. I really thought that I would have no where to turn to, no place to stay, no shoulder to cry on... but I was proven wrong. And the funniest thing is, the people I've known for years were not actually there for me. All the closest friends that I've made recently or have become close to in the last year were the ones who had my back. And all the people I thought were my friends turned out to not be all that reliable as I thought they would be in my time of need.

When I was deliberating who to tell and who to ask for help there were only a handful of people I realized that I could actually turn to and it was really eye opening. It was like the ultimate test to find out who your real friends would be. The ones that wouldn't judge, the ones that would do their best to help you out, the ones that would help you make the right choice in the end.

It made me realize how important and worthwhile good friends are and I owe so much to them. From my friend who baked me cupcakes, to my friend who is pretty damn good at Modern Warfare, to my friend who taught me to make macaroni and cheese for the first time, to the friend who let me cry over the phone to him for god knows how long... I really do love you guys so very much.

2) Sometimes you'll get so caught up in your emotional response to things that you don't think things through. When I stormed out of the house with my stuff, I didn't even have a plan. No money, no gas, no place to stay... it's a really bad idea. Plus I didn't even stop to think about all the things I did wrong in that situation and I ended up doing and saying things I really regret and I ended up hurting someone I really care about. Even after, I was just so stubborn and scared to admit that I was in the wrong as much as my mother that my pride kept me from reconciling.

I was being a big baby and a terd. I will admit that. I'm just glad that I had people to bring me to my senses.

After everything, things were a lot clearer for me and for the relationships in my life. I realized that sometimes things need to explode to restart, and that's just what my mom and I needed. And thank god things are alright now.