Shoot. I just messed up with a friend of mine who really does mean a lot to me. So recently we've been talking a lot off and on. But I kind of realized that all we talk about is school sometimes. On top of that my other friend told me that this friend didn't even see me as friends and what not and that hurt like hell because I thought we were sort of. Apparently not.
So I spent the whole day raging and then finally I confronted him about it. Turns out I was so wrong. He was just trying to put distance between him and everyone else until he got things figured out and he thought that we understood each other to a level where we couldn't quite put a label on it. That got me thinking and the truth is we talk about so much and he has trusted me with so much of what he hides within himself. I was stupid and blind and hurt that I couldn't see that he wasn't being a jerk but he was being caring.
So I messed up. Now he's probably going to start pulling away and I don't know what to do. I'm an idiot and obviously, I can't read people right. I need to stop ruining relationships with people I care about. This isn't the first and isn't the last. It first started with the guy I met at ARML who I totally screwed up with to my friend who I used to do everything with and now don't even talk to anymore. Why do I let these people slip through my fingers?
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